How to Talk to a Cancer Patient

I ran across an article titled just that. "How to Talk to a Cancer Patient." The article was written really well.

It guided people into more open ended, positive minded, phrasing of difficult questions and statements directed toward a patient. Here are some tips.

Instead of asking, "How are you feeling?" you can say "What's up?" or "How's the day going?" Cancer patients take it one day at a time and most of the time you ask "How are you feeling?" you drag their mind back into assessing how terrible they feel. Of course, after a few sessions of chemo the patient won't feel good. Don't make them dwell on what is apparent to you already.

A lot of people want to help but they don't know what to do. So, you ask "If you need something, just ask me." or "Let me know what I can do." You have good intentions and the patient probably appreciates it, but they are ridiculously tired. They probably won't keep it in mind when they have so many problems to deal with. Instead think of something specific that you could help with. Like: "Let me know if I can bring you dinner on the day you have chemotherapy." Another suggestion, "Can I come with you on a day that you have chemo? I can drive you there and we can talk?" Kellie Takemoto was became one great friend to me when she drove me to chemo the day my car didn't work and took me home. We played games and it was nice having her sit and talk with me about scripture. Mom later on took me to chemo and it was nice having someone there making sure I had everything I needed, listening to the nurses, and laughing with the other patients. It took a lot of stress off.

If you just want to be there for the patient then say, "Man, it must be such a hard time that you are going through. Just know that I am there for you when you need me." Sometimes, we cancer patients don't know what to say. Sometimes, we just don't want to talk because we are exhausted and can't even understand what we are going through. That statement may open up a conversation without putting the pressure on the patient to open up to you.

Above all. A hug can say a lot, or just holding their hand. One of my biggest memories was having my whole family in the doctors office trying to figure out the course of treatment to take. I had no idea what to do. Dad came up to the patient's table and held my hand while we discussed the course to take. Sometimes, words are not needed. Just your presence is powerful.

You can't do much wrong, though. Just try. Remember: they don't want to be going through this, they don't want to put their life on hold. It's hard.

Cheers!!