So, genetic counseling is coming up. It would be good to know if I have it in my blood because that means I'm more prone to the mutation other than other people.... Everyone has cancer in their blood it's just whether their body allows the "mutation" to occur. When there are hereditary genes involved, it's kind of like you're screwed....you've got it and it will more-than-likely come back. How it comes back, who knows. The thing about cancer is that it can always come back with a vengeance and be back in the metastatic stage, where you die. See? Luckily, colon cancer is a slow growing cancer but you never know how early God wants to take you home. Eh?
The days are going by so fast! It seems like I can't keep up. My head is sometimes sluggish and I feel spacey. lol. I think it's just the chemo making me tired. I think I need to up my exercise. It makes your mind sharper. Music also helps a lot.
Death I guess isn't such a scary thought to me...it is a little bit. I always thought that I would either die surprisingly, fighting, or quietly in my bed. I never discussed about cancer and dying in a stupid hospital. The only reason why death is such a bad thing is because I've been on the other side watching death take hold of another person who I loved. It may not be scary but it is definitely a lot of turmoil and sadness to even comprehend some of the pain others feel when a loved one dies. Of course, for the person who dies gets to go to Heaven and there is nothing wrong with that. I believe that all the ones who love you now will be up there and you will remember all the love you had for them, and they will just be the same person as they were to you on Earth. Otherwise God wouldn't have made Love as strong as he did. What would be the reason? To love someone and then to have God take it away? Well, that's an absurd thought. Bottom line- I have too much to love and too much to live for, not material possessions, to let go of life.
Well, I'm not dying by any means. However, once you face something like this you do think about it.
There are my thoughts for the day. I'm waiting patiently for the Lord to reveal something to me and to bring me out of this untouched. It's coming... I think.
4 comments:
Jo, thanks for the update and telling me how you feel. I can relate to your feelings of death, because I have gone through that also. God will reveal himself or his plans to you when he's ready!
I'm praying the counceling goes well for you!
Have a wonderful weekend, and i'll be waiting patiently for another update!
Love you!!
My Dear Sweet Jo,
You're hanging in there! You may feel weak but think about how strong you are to take all of the chemo, radiation and your schedule - EEEKKKK!! I don't know how you do it. I'm so proud of you. I can't imagine what you are going through and how you still manage to keep up your blog! Wow! You are one wild force!
Uncle Gary and I pray for you everyday - sometimes Katherine joins us. You're almost half way there. Keep your eyes on the horizon and don't look back!
Love, Love, Love You!!
PS - I keep getting booted off this blog spot and have to re- register at the Google website. I guess I'm just a LITTLE "challenged". Sorry I haven't sent many messages - including the ones I tried to enter for your Grandmother. Sheesh
Hi Jo,
Ya I know I don't write enough, it is one of my many weaknesses. But do always remember that Cindy and I pray for you many time a day. (almost said every time I eat, but NO ONE prays that much!!! ;-) lol).
Hey, inchme and pinchme went down to the brook, inchme fell in and who was left? ( No, inchme was not your mother! ) I owe you one! PINCH!
Hugs your way, darling
Randy
Great talking with you and Ryan today!! I'm moving forward with what we talked about - almost there - woo hoo!! You'll be hearing from me soon!
Don't fear your appt. tomorrow,
remember what we are promised,
"Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, do not fear;
I will help you."
Is. 41:10&13
He will not leave His Princess alone - trust Him!
Love,
Bonnie
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