Earth- Lessons- Heaven- Happiness

Ok, so the last blog was supposed to be funny. Whether you like it or not, that is a cancer story.... and I was trying to make it on the lighter side... But boy, that just fell flat on it's face... and to me it makes it just that much funnier.

Bummer for everyone else who didn't get it. I was just kidding.... it was my sarcasm coming out. Of course doctors are not blood suckers and of course you don't play 100 questions with every doctor...it's more like 30. Doctors are wonderful beings who help you survive.

And so, cancer is hard for everyone who has it. True. It is also true that there are ups and downs in this life. You will scream and cry. Then you will be happy and laugh. Bi polar? No. Your moods are subjective to your physical state. Correct? So when I am on my knees, throwing up violently...you can expect or use reasoning that I will not be the happiest person to talk to. Guess what though, the beauty of life is that you come back to normal state and are happy again.

Here is the key. A mother is to love and father is to be strong. Stereotypical. A child to be babied and a student to learn. And what of a cancer patient? Stereotypical cancer patient is what? What do you expect from a cancer patient? There isn't one. Why? Because some days we are strong and some days we are weak. Some of us like to tackle our jobs while being sick and some of us lie down and take a break. You cannot expect something, a mood, smiles, tears...nothing from a cancer patient. We live in the moment that has been brought to us and we survive through it. You can expect that we will try our best to survive to whatever our strength capacity enables us or until God decides for us.

Now, it is either your choice to hold our hands through it, to be silent, or to voice yourself. Yes, there are rough days. Yes, there are good days. By greggor, believe in the cancer patient! We may change, day to day. We may struggle, push ourselves, scream and yell, and then laugh... but it does not mean that we have lost who we are. I am still Jo. Until the ragging battle is over and done with, you will see me do what I need to do in order to survive.

Yes, I have a hard time with cancer. So does my family. Friends of the family and people who don't even know me who read my words. But guess what. We are all in it together. If you want to cry on me, scream at me, laugh at or with me... go ahead. You don't even need cancer. I'll understand. Life sucks and then gets better. The End, that's reality sometimes.

I hurt. I still Love. I cry. I still Laugh. I plead. And yet I still bloody Stand. That is me. I need to crawl sometimes, understand that. So, allow me to do so. It will get better and sometimes I won't know it. Then say it for me. Of all things though... just tough it out with me. It's hard for you, I understand that. Now understand for my sake.

Life is not all rainbows and happy endings. That's a fact. Happy beginnings that never end are in Heaven... where I am bound to go sometime. Who knows when. In the mean time- here is reality... fallen tremendously short of Heaven but it's what you have. Now how do you make it work when it's not all Roses?