Insight to the Mind. Random points.

You want to know something really funny? hehe. I've always talked to myself in my mind. You probably do to. God and I talk now more than ever (in my head)... sometimes, he even cracks me up.
Often times now, I will replay really funny things in my head and I'll start laughing. No one knows why I am laughing and they give me strange looks. That just makes it even better. Weird? Ya, no joke. ha.
I enjoy not caring about everything. I don't really care what the person I just recently met thinks of me. I really do not care if I didn't wash that pot or pan. I really enjoy being blunt to people. I even enjoy it more when they are yelling at me or they get all flustered and go on a tangent and I just sit there and stare at them. (at that time I'm trying to comprehend why the think that this issue is big enough to get all flustered over.)

I'm slowly learning how to let go of some things in life. Learning how to live in that moment and that day. I'm trying to re-learn how to reduce my stress levels and to show love every day to those around me. I'm learning how to be blunt, stick up for myself, but yet be loving and just not care. Learning how to reach this balance has been quite a road.

The best thing about Ryan's and my relationship is the Love. duh. Sometimes though I really am humbled by the love that we have. Women, in general, have a hard time day to day with how they look and they like hearing over and over that they are loved. We like affection.
Now try being a cancer patient. You have scars over your body, your skin is rough where the chemo comes out, your hair is thinning, and you're always sick. Feel like you can be loved? Eh, it's tough because you battle thoughts constantly. Thoughts of how can I be loved when my personality is changing constantly, when my body feels broken, and sadness is quite frequent.
It is a very hard and difficult road to take care of a cancer patient. You want to take away their pain and you want to make them feel better. That's just not possible. You have to just wait out the storm with them and get them material possessions that may help ease everything a little bit more. That is what has dumbstruck me from the beginning. Some of the conversations Ry and I have had are amazing. I'm not too sure who else has had conversations like we've had...but I'm pretty sure it hasn't been too many.
Nobody really needs to tell me what a great guy I have, nor what a great family I'm marrying into. Love has humbled me.

I have also been amazed by my family. I didn't know how awesome they were. Some of the friends of the family have stepped up as well and offered everything that they could. It's really cool to see love at work.
Just as a side note though- I'm sorry but I really do not like the state of Minnesota. It's ok to visit, but I couldn't live there. Sorry! Love you all though! Once you come to Colorado, you would understand. Hot springs, hiking, biking, waterfalls, wildlife, snow shoeing, skiing...all in your backyard? psh. I love it here.