Mom and I went to the Oncologist today. I didn't get the news I was expecting. The road is going to be a lot harder than expected.
A juvenile polyp was removed at the time of the colonoscopy that was cancerous. It was 5 cm high. This determines the cancer to be rectal.
The treatment is going to be the following.
Starting in 2 weeks or so: Monday- Friday I will go to RMCC and get 30min of radiation.
One day per week I will get a Chemo treatment along with 30min radiation.
This will be going on for 7 weeks.
Then there will be a 4 week break, then I will have surgery, and then back to chemotherapy for a few more weeks.
It is a long and extensive treatment process. I am disappointed.
Everyone says that it will be fine and I will make it through it. I know I am going to be O.K and I won't die because of the treatment. However, it doesn't change the fact that I, alone, will have to go through this. Radiation burns your insides and chemo puts hundreds of chemicals into your body over weeks. Go ahead and tell yourself that you'll be fine when going through it, see how you feel. That is the blunt truth of cancer. You'll be fine and will live, but nobody is saying how hard it is.
I will post one more entry today.
4 comments:
Hey Jo...I'm sorry you didn't hear what you wanted to hear. You were probably psyched for surgery this week. Hopefully this treatment will be the best course of action for you, but I can't imagine how you must be feeling. My mom had breast cancer twice, but I live across the country from her and couldn't be with her while she was going through the treatments and the surgeries. You will continue to be in our thoughts, and especially our prayers. It's nice that I can chat with Ryan online from time-to-time for updates...don't feel like you have to answer everybody. Take care of YOU!
Precious Heavenly Father, My heart is hurting for my sister Jo. Father it just doesn't seem right that someone so young must go through all of this BUT I know that YOU oh Great Physician hear my cry. I ask that You bring her comfort. I ask that as she must endure these treatments that You give her the faith of Job. That You come along side her, let her feel Your presence, let her rest in Your loving arms. And in the end know that you will be give the praise and glory.
Father, I also ask that you be with her family. Give them the support they need to support Jo. Help them to find their strenth in You. Help them to find their peace in You. Show them the compassion of the Father who watched His Son die for the sins of the world.
And now for her friends, give them wisdom. The wisdom to say what needs to be said and to know when to listen. To know when it is enough to just be near and hold her hand. And the online friends, to keep praying Your perfect will for her life.
In Jesus Name,
Cathy
Hi Jo, I am so glad that you have this blog to write about all that you are feeling. You're right - you should be straight up about what you're thinking. I took a class from Jan Dodge about prayer. She said that we can do "Arrow Prayers" as we go through our day and pray each time someone comes to mind. When we send up arrow prayers, we can pray many times a day. I am sending up Arrow Prayers for all of you. I am especially praying that whenever you are feeling alone or lonely Jesus will touch you in a very tangible way to let you know that He is right beside you always, no matter what, and He feels everything with you. You are His unique and precious creation. God loves you, Jo, and so do I! Gretchen
P.S. I forgot when I wrote my first comment to tell you what a handsome guy Ryan is - I loved the picture of the two of you. I am so glad that he is in your heart.
You are never alone! He is with you always. Be still and feel his presence.
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